Becoming the Terminally-Ill Villain Who Torments His Disciples - Chapter 35.1
It was a truly ugly and filthy feeling.
In truth, he had known that his impure intentions and the low self-esteem of “Lee Eunwoo” were corroding his relationship with Oscar.
And even knowing that, he let it fester.
He had cursed the real “Cielo” for being a bad person, but in the end, he was no different from him.
“…I just wanted to be loved too.”
“……”
“And I used you for that.”
Up until the moment he transmigrated and first met Oscar, his feelings had been genuine.
He had hoped Oscar wouldn’t be abused, and had wanted him to be happy.
But as time passed, when he realized he had become the center of Oscar’s world—when he noticed that Oscar was harboring feelings for him beyond what was necessary—
The memories of being unloved as “Lee Eunwoo” whispered to him: take advantage of Oscar.
Because if he became everything to the protagonist of the novel, it would make him feel like someone truly special—someone who mattered.
But simply hearing such words and seeing them manifest in reality were two completely different things.
“Why—why say this now? You didn’t have to! You could’ve just… pretended not to know!”
Oscar, who had been biting his lip, slowly lifted his head.
His violet eyes, heavy with tears, didn’t look hurt by Cielo’s words—
They looked afraid of being abandoned.
“If I live pretending not to know, I’d end up lying to you for the rest of my life.”
“…….”
“I’m not denying your feelings, Oscar. It’s precisely because you’ve been so honest with me that…”
That’s why he can’t keep maintaining this relationship built on lies. What Cielo and Oscar had was a bond formed because each wanted something from the other.
Cielo wanted unconditional love from Oscar.
Oscar wanted grand, visible affection in return.
Neither ever said it aloud, but somewhere deep down, they both knew.
Their relationship existed solely to fulfill each other’s needs. And for that alone, they had long since begun wearing masks when facing one another.
“Tch, that Pascius temper of his… If he directed even half of it at his master, he’d live a life drowning in love.”
He recalled a few words he had overheard years ago.
People said Oscar was actually sharp-tempered and easily irritated.
At first, he thought it was a misunderstanding—but as time passed, he began to see signs.
Oscar had been suppressing his true nature whenever he was around Cielo.
He had been wearing the mask of the gentle man Cielo wanted him to be.
“……Let’s try being a little more honest with each other, Oscar.”
I didn’t want to deceive someone who had bared their heart to me any longer.
“Who the hell wants honesty?”
“…….”
“If I’d known it’d come to this, I wouldn’t have bothered pretending to be good. I should’ve just kidnapped you and locked you away.”
Cielo’s body shuddered violently at Oscar’s muttering. Staggering to his feet, Oscar grabbed Cielo’s shoulders.
“……Why are you running?”
“Ngh—O-Oscar…!”
“You always said—‘If you try hard enough and push through, someone will see you.’ So why won’t you accept me? Why did you lie?”
Cielo flinched under the crushing grip. Oscar, barely restraining his fury, ground his teeth audibly.
But as his own body began trembling with emotion, Oscar suddenly shoved Cielo away.
Unable to steady himself, Cielo stumbled and collapsed to the floor.
“Fine. I’ll do exactly what you want.”
“…….”
“Because to you, I’m nothing more than… someone so insignificant that the moment I cross a line, you’ll throw me away.”
Leaving those words behind, Oscar turned away without helping Cielo up.
As his figure grew distant, a sharp pain flared near Cielo’s heart.
He had to say something, that it wasn’t like that.
That he hadn’t bared his heart lightly.
But Cielo couldn’t reach out to Oscar.
Even if he did, he couldn’t give Oscar what he wanted right now.
“…Haa.”
With a long sigh, Cielo slowly pulled himself up.
His chest ached more than he’d expected.
***
As predicted, Oscar didn’t return to their shared room after the fight.
When they crossed paths at the infirmary, he would nod in greeting—nothing more. No meeting of eyes, no casual conversations like before.
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