In the Name of God - vanish into fiction

As soon as I heard those words along with the touch on my thigh, the image of my past self in a state of heat flashed through my mind. The memory of that day, gasping for air alongside Lee Sunho while doing “dirty things,” was still vivid. I tried to erase it, but I couldn’t help the surge of heat adding to my already feverish head.

‘Does this guy even realize what he just said?’

As if to answer my doubt, I met Lee Sunho’s incredibly bold and upright eyes. He is dead serious.

While I was so flustered I couldn’t say a word, Lee Sunho spoke gently.

“As you know, for physical ability awakeners, the more intensely they move their bodies, the more they build up heat in various ways. Simple rest is good, but sometimes a discharge is necessary.”

Just as Lee Sunho said, physical awakeners were structured so that their muscles and nerves were constantly stimulated above average levels from the moment of their awakening. In such a state, pulling one’s abilities even higher not only sharpens the senses but also activates overall physical functions beyond imagination.

The problem was the aftermath. The excessively awakened senses and physical reactions do not easily subside; they remain as a lingering sensation, eventually accumulating inside the body like heat.

Since simply resting was often insufficient to resolve that sensation, physical awakeners usually cooled down that heat through various methods. If the heat wasn’t channeled out in the right way at the right time, recovery would be delayed or the condition could actually worsen.

In fact, the reason I was bedridden with a high fever now followed a similar logic. To beat to death the boss monster that had dared to transform into my Apostle, I borrowed the power of the penalty and surpassed my physical limits. Now, my excessively activated body was struggling, unable to handle the heat of the aftermath.

Most physical awakeners know their own limits instinctively, so cases of going berserk to the point of falling ill like this aren’t very common. It’s just that Seong Do-yoon’s body is so frail that his threshold is low, leading to this state.

In any case, I fully understood why Lee Sunho mentioned “discharge.” Even when I used to roam the battlefields, there were often mercenaries who sought sexual outlets because their heat wouldn’t cool down after consecutive battles.

‘Well, come to think of it, since we became partners, there’s been no end to dangerous battles.’

Looking back, there were several fights where lives were at risk. It only seemed otherwise because Lee Sunho was so skilled; in reality, he was absorbing the full impact of situations where a single mistake could have been fatal. He always acted nonchalant as if nothing was wrong, but how much effort must he have put in to cool down that heat on his own?

Moreover, isn’t Lee Sunho a young, red-blooded man in his twenties? A guy like that couldn’t even go out to date and was just circling dungeons because of me—someone who’s always harping on about performance—so it was only natural for him to be frustrated.

I felt a surge of guilt, realizing I had been insensitive toward my partner. However, even if I understood, I couldn’t readily accept Lee Sunho’s proposal.

“But still… shouldn’t you do that kind of thing with a lover?”

“I’d need to have one first.”

My heart grew heavy again at Lee Sunho’s answer. I felt like punching my past self for dragging him around without even giving him time to date.

“Even so, do you really want to do dirty things with a guy who has the same parts as you?”

“Since we have the same parts, we know exactly what to do to make each other feel good.”

Responding without hesitation, Lee Sunho began to stealthily pull off my pants under the blanket. I jumped in surprise, but after seeing him glance at the towel on the nightstand, I realized it was an extension of his care.

While my pants and then my underwear were removed, tension rose within me for no reason. Lee Sunho looked at me and chuckled.

“I haven’t mentioned it, but I have anthrophobia. I hate touching other people and I don’t like mixing words with them.”

“Is that something a guy who let me into his house the day we met should say?”

“Then should I have just left you to die while you were coughing up blood and collapsing?”

“…”

Why are there so many moments today where I’m left speechless? On the other hand, the thought that a guy with anthrophobia must have suffered quite a bit because of me since our first meeting made me feel sorry once again.