Idol of the Heavenly One - Chapter 1.2
“That’s right. If you think of it that way, there isn’t a single human who hasn’t harmed someone. That’s why most humans go to hell. It’s extremely rare for anyone to go to heaven. You, however, are a very unusual case. And even if you do make it to heaven, being reincarnated as a human is even more difficult. Usually, those who are reincarnated as humans are people who gained extra points by serving others, helping others, and making sacrifices in their previous lives. Well… there are exceptions, but still.”
He had read my mind again. No, maybe I didn’t even have an “inner voice” right now since I wasn’t in a human body.
Anyway, I had forgotten about that. I seemed to have made it to heaven because I harmed others less than most, but as Mr. Hong Gil-dong said, the others who came here had probably made it through service, donations, and sacrifice.
I, who had done no service, given no help, made no sacrifices, was I really just going to have to be reborn as a dog?
“Dogs are actually quite nice. They’re one of the animals most loved by humans.”
True. Nowadays, it’s almost natural that dogs are so beloved. Being a dog who receives plenty of love… maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.
“Well then, please choose. Option 1: Shih Tzu, Option 2: Maltese, Option 3: Norwich Terrier, Option 4—”
“Wait a second.”
“Yes?”
“No… I mean, dogs are nice, but I still want to be human. I really want to be reborn as a human.
You said Ms. Lee Ji-eun was diagnosed with stress-induced gastritis and couldn’t consume coffee or carbs for a week, right?”
“Yes.”
“But because of that, Ms. Lee—I mean, Officer Lee—lost two kilograms, and the clothes she had bought for the idol fan signing event the following week fit her perfectly. She was really happy about it. She even told me so herself during lunch, saying it had actually worked out well for her. Doesn’t that mean I actually helped her?”
“Hmm…?”
If that counts as harm, then surely this could count as helping.
Ms. Lee Ji-eun had been a level-three administrative officer in the school office where I worked in my past life. She was young enough to be my daughter, but we got along well, like friends. Though our fandoms were different, an otaku is an otaku — we bonded over nerd talk during lunch every day.
She liked male idols, and thanks to her I learned about idols I wouldn’t have known otherwise. That’s also how I found out that the best idol group was called YEARZ.
“Those YEARZ guys are insane. They were literally born to be idols. They deserve every bit of love they get—especially Jae-heon.”
And I envied idols like that. To be considered worthy of love. To have so many people loving you unconditionally, expecting nothing in return—what a blessed life that must be.
“Do you know what gacha is?”
“That was a little rude, Officer Lee.”
“Rude? So, do you want mulhoe for lunch today?”
“Sure.”
Officer Lee knew I loved Moongbaek, and when she went on a trip to Japan, she even won me a Moongbaek plushie from a crane game. She had been a truly thoughtful friend.
Now that I thought about it, if she found out I died, she would probably be very sad. We had been such good lunch buddies.
“Wait a moment.”
Mr. Hong Gil-dong looked as though he was deep in thought, then took a small hand mirror from his pocket. He stared into it for a while before finally nodding.
“Ms. Lee Ji-eun is sincerely mourning your death.”
“Can I see her too?”
“No.”
I felt a pang of disappointment. I wanted to see the face of the person who was sincerely mourning me.
“Still, for a non-family member to sincerely grieve for someone’s death means you didn’t just avoid harming her—you brought her little joys and happiness.”
For the first time, the perpetually expressionless Mr. Hong Gil-dong’s face seemed to soften kindly.
“Looking back at your life, it seems you did help others after all. You also had moments when you acted with genuine sincerity.”
Did I? Had I ever really helped anyone? The only thing I could think of was calming down a kid who had been running away after a fight and making sure he got home safely. After that, whenever I saw him, I’d buy him a snack now and then. Was that an act of true sincerity? Probably not. I distinctly remember thinking it was annoying at the time.
“If you were to be reincarnated as a human, what would you wish for most? Any special talent? Appearance, perhaps?”
Reincarnated as a human?
Did that mean I actually could be reincarnated as a human? Or not?
“If I could be reincarnated as a human… if that’s really possible…”
Dogs are actually quite nice. They’re among the animals most loved by humans.
If someone asked me what I regretted most in life, it would be that I lived so alone. It was a path I chose, but at the moment of death, that loneliness was the thing I regretted most.
All through my life, up until fifty, I kept telling myself, “As long as I have cute Moongbaek, I’m fine. As long as I have my home as my safe haven, I’m fine.” And so I lived a quiet life. But deep down, I was unbearably lonely and desolate.
I was never good at expressing myself, so not only did I never have a lover, I didn’t even have a proper friend. I just quietly wished someone might love me, might like me — but never said it aloud.
And time passed so quickly that eventually, even having such a wish felt like a burden to others, so I rarely let myself think about it.
“…Yes. I understand.”
“But I didn’t say anything.”
“You know. You don’t have to speak for me to know.”
“But still…”
“Here. Just open this door and step through.”
The entire space was white, and suddenly there was a door right in front of me—completely white except for the wooden handle. Before I could even think of anything else, I felt a strong pull toward it. I somehow knew that if I opened this door and walked through, my wish would come true.
“Then… what will happen to me?”
“Whatever you wish for.”
Whatever I wished for…
Before I could think any further, my hand had already reached out, grasped the handle, and turned it.
“Go well.”
And with Mr. Hong Gil-dong’s voice echoing behind me, my vision was filled with blinding white light.
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