Idol of the Heavenly One - Chapter 22.2
“…What did I used to look like?”
I really couldn’t remember. It was as if only my face had been cut out in white, leaving my name and appearance blank. I felt like I might recognize myself if I saw it again…
“What do you mean?”
“Hm?”
“What do you mean, what you used to look like?”
At some point, without me noticing, Baek Jae-heon had come up next to me and asked.
“… Oh, uh, I was just wondering what I looked like as a kid.”
The frightening thing about an old man’s long-standing habits is that I tend to talk to myself. When I’m fully conscious, I try to keep it in my head, but the moment I lose focus or get too absorbed, the words slip out without me realizing.
That’s what happened just now. I muttered to myself again, and somehow Baek Jae-heon caught it as he passed by. To anyone else, it must have sounded strange. “What did I used to look like?” followed by, “when I was a kid.” People already saw me as nothing more than a nineteen-year-old boy.
“…”
“…”
He didn’t react much to my excuse, so I glanced up at him cautiously. Now that I knew he was 187 centimeters tall, my neck felt even more strained when I looked at him.
“You’re still just a kid.”
The moment our eyes met, Baek Jae-heon threw out the words bluntly, then walked back to where he had been before.
“…Right. Ha…”
And isn’t he also a kid? He’s still nineteen too. How ridiculous.
***
I couldn’t even tell how the first day passed. Tomorrow we had to head out early for another music broadcast, so our manager left us with the usual reminder to get some sleep. It was already 10 p.m., which meant we had only about four hours to rest. Even so, instead of feeling tired, I found myself more excited about the stage tomorrow, and the fans we would meet.
I should have gone to bed right away, but I picked up my phone. I wanted to watch the recording of our very first performance. Glancing over at the bed next to me, I saw that Baek Jae-heon was quiet, probably already asleep. Plugging in my earphones carefully, I searched for YEARZ on YouTube. At the very top, our stage from today appeared.
Tap. I clicked the video.
The stage opened with the pre-recorded “AGAINST TIME.”
“Whoa…”
The first close-up was of Baek Jae-heon’s face before the camera zoomed out, and even though I saw that face every day, I couldn’t help but gasp.
After the choreography spread out with Jae-heon at the center, the members regrouped and scattered. When it was my turn at the far end, I stepped forward and began the opening verse.
[On a road where the end is near, in the time that has stopped]
Borrowing the stylist director’s words, I wore a cropped black formal jacket. With hair and makeup done, I actually looked like a real celebrity. Maybe because it was our fourth take, there wasn’t much awkwardness left. My gaze control and live singing weren’t bad at all.
[Beyond fading memories, I run toward you]
No. The very moment Baek Jae-heon came in for the next part, I realized what I’d done wasn’t really that great. My performance was the level of a high school retreat talent show. Jae-heon, from the word “fading,” carried a completely different weight. He was a real singer.
<<10 seconds back
[Beyond fading memories, I run toward you]
How could he sing so well, gesture so naturally, and most of all, look like that? Honestly, he could make a living off his face alone. Ah, right. He already is.
<<10 seconds back
[Beyond fading memories, I run toward you]
And his eyes… they held a depth, a desperate sorrow, as if he had lived through some overwhelming love. I paused the screen and stared. How could he make an expression like that? He’s only nineteen. Has he already experienced that kind of love? Even in my sixty-nine years, I never had.
Tap tap.
<<10 seconds back
I rewound the clip again to watch.
“Stop watching.”
But when Baek Jae-heon’s quiet voice suddenly came through, a sharp shiver raced from my toes to the top of my head.
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