Idol of the Heavenly One - Chapter 30.1
“Mm…”
I answered in a half-asleep voice.
“What do you mean by ‘too much like a grim reaper’?”
Baek Jae-heon asked seriously, as if he didn’t understand my earlier response, or maybe he was curious how I had figured out right away that he was a trainee from the Afterlife Processing Division. He rarely spoke to me first, so hearing him ask such a question was strangely amusing and even a little endearing.
“I meant it literally…”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re too much like a grim reaper…”
My short reply scattered into the air.
“…”
Baek Jae-heon seemed to be staring at me silently, but I didn’t even have the energy to check. My eyelids sank heavily, and my words grew slower.
“Actually, you don’t really look like one…”
With that final murmur, I was completely swallowed by the madness of sleep. My consciousness slipped away entirely.
“…”
***
Baek Jae-heon definitely looked more at ease when he was with the other members. With me, he was obviously awkward and uncomfortable, but strangely, among the members he blended in quite naturally.
For example, things like this:
“Ji-hak, that has peanuts.”
“Huh? Oh, wow, that was close! But hyung, how did you even know I have a peanut allergy? Did I ever say that?”
“Be careful.”
Baek Jae-heon had been the first to notice that Kwon Ji-hak had a peanut allergy.
Or,
“Soonbok. Those pants look like they’re about to rip.”
“Huh? Wha— pants?”
“Yeah. They’re too tight.”
After hearing that, Sunbok tried doing a dance move, and sure enough, the pants gave way with a snap.
“Ah, ah! They actually ripped! If I’d worn these on stage, it would’ve been a disaster…”
“Be careful.”
Even details like how tight someone’s pants fit, he paid close attention to.
And then,
“Go Hee-min. Call your grandmother.”
“What, are you having an affair with my mom or something?”
“Last year you called her every night after practice. You should call her once in a while.”
“Ha, definitely having an affair.”
Even when Go Hee-min snarked at him like he was acting like a dad, Baek Jae-heon still nagged him about showing filial piety.
“Joo I-rip. Turn on the news.”
“No, I wanna watch baseball.”
“Does baseball put food on the table?”
“Well, watching it fills me up more than looking at you.”
“You brat.”
With Joo I-rip, he was the only one who bickered like they were equals.
This way, I often caught glimpses of unexpected sides of Baek Jae-heon.
But when it was just the two of us, it was always different. His words became noticeably fewer, the air grew awkward, and it felt like he wanted to avoid being near me. Whenever I was with him, I found myself tense and self-conscious, uncomfortably aware of him.
Yet over the past few days, Baek Jae-heon had been acting strangely.
“…Why?”
“What.”
He still treated me awkwardly, that part hadn’t changed. But the difference was the way his gaze lingered. What used to feel rare now happened far more often, far more blatantly. His body seemed stiff with awkwardness, yet his eyes were fixed on me. That made me even more conscious of him.
“You keep staring.”
“When did I?”
You were just staring now. I wanted to say it, but I couldn’t bring myself to voice it.
“…Forget it.”
They say conceding is winning. If he denied it, what could I do? I just chose to turn my head away.
“…”
But even as I turned away, my awareness stayed with him. I already knew I was hyperaware of Baek Jae-heon, but ever since that day—ever since my lips had been stolen— it felt like half my days were caught up with him.
Before, even if I stole glances, there was no risk. He hadn’t cared, so I would never be caught. But now it was different. His eyes kept following me, almost glaring, and now I couldn’t bring myself to meet his gaze. The more I avoided it, the more tightly it seemed to bind me.
In all of my 69 years of life, I had never faced such a situation, so I handled it poorly, fumbling in confusion. The only strategy I could come up with was simply to keep my mouth shut.
Today was the day of the year-end AAM Awards. Usually they are held in major cities overseas, but this year, for the first time in six years, the ceremony was being held in Korea. At Incheon Arena, no less. For us, that was a relief. Without long-distance travel, we could conserve our strength. For a group barely two months into our debut, where every schedule was packed tight, even small breaks like that mattered.
This year, we weren’t in a position to win awards. We weren’t even nominated. Still, we were given the chance to perform our debut song on stage, and even preview part of our upcoming new song, set to release in a few days. For rookies, that was already a huge opportunity.
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