Idol of the Heavenly One - Chapter 45.1
In the end, it seemed I would have to sleep in Baek Jae-heon’s bed. I turned my head slightly to glance at him, and there he was, sitting on one side of the bed with his phone in hand, not paying the slightest attention to me. Of all places, did he really have to leave the bed right next to where I was standing empty?
“Ah! What are you doing!”
“Get in while I’m asking nicely.”
Still, there was no way I was going to lie down next to Baek Jae-heon. I dove right on top of Kwon Ji-hak, pressing down on him and telling him to move while I was still being nice. Ji-hak grumbled irritably, but eventually gave up and shifted aside.
“I’ll sleep on the outside.”
“If you want to end up with I-rip hyung, keep talking like that.”
“I’ll just sleep.”
He could have at least given me the outer side, but Ji-hak insisted on keeping it for himself and lay down there as if guarding it. So I had no choice but to lie down on the inner side, right next to Baek Jae-heon’s bed. Still, it was better than nothing.
“Hey, Myeong-hyeon hyung.”
“Yeah.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“What is it?”
I must have been more tired than I thought, because sleep was starting to creep in. Ji-hak, still on his phone, said he wanted to ask me something. The light from his screen hurt my eyes, so I turned over to face the other way and told him to go ahead. I could see Baek Jae-heon on the opposite side, still leaning against the headboard and scrolling through his phone, but his light was dimmer, so this direction was easier on my eyes.
“Do you have any siblings?”
I thought he was going to ask where I was trying to go during the AAM Awards, but the question was surprisingly simple and random. I gave a small laugh and answered.
“I have a younger sister.”
“Oh, really?”
“Why?”
“I thought you were an only child.”
“…Me?”
Did I seem that independent and self-reliant? Why would he think that? My body was sinking deeper into fatigue, but curiosity lingered.
“Yeah. You just seem like someone who can handle everything on your own.”
“Is that so?”
“And also…”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t seem like you get lonely.”
That I didn’t seem lonely? Well, maybe. I had lived alone for a long time, so even after I got a family, I wasn’t particularly dependent on them. Not being dependent didn’t mean I loved them any less, though. Since having a family, they had become the people I loved most in the world—the ones I most wanted to protect.
“So sometimes you seem really mature. Like, really mature.”
I guess to young Ji-hak, I looked like an adult who could live well on his own. Even though, outwardly, we were only a year apart.
Still, there was something I should tell him.
“But Ji-hak, only children get lonely too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. They just don’t realize it.”
“Oh?”
“So when they do get a family, they’ll never want to go back to being alone.”
“But how do you know that, hyung? You’re not an only child.”
“A theory.”
“Oh, come on!”
I chuckled quietly at his clicking tongue. I wanted to thank him for seeing me as someone so grown-up, but by then, sleep was pulling me under fast. I decided I really should just sleep.
“Jae-heon hyung, do you have siblings too?”
“…No.”
“So you are an only child!”
“…Yeah.”
“Then do you get lonely too, like Myeong-hyeon hyung said?”
When Ji-hak’s question turned to Baek Jae-heon, my eyes opened on their own. And the moment I did, I saw Baek Jae-heon—looking right at me.
“…”
“…”
For a long while, we just stared at each other without a word. If it had been me from a few minutes ago, I would’ve immediately shut my eyes or turned back toward Ji-hak. But maybe because drowsiness dulled my senses, or maybe because there was something strange about the look on Baek Jae-heon’s face, I couldn’t look away. What kind of expression was that?
He looked like he was about to cry—or like he was lost.
“…No, I don’t.”
“…”
“I’ve been alone for too long.”
Seeing those eyes and hearing that voice gave me a strange sense of déjà vu. It felt like we’d had this exact conversation once before. Though that must have been my imagination.
“…”
The thought didn’t last long. Sleep finally overtook me, and my eyes slowly closed.
A sky dyed in sunset hues, a small building that looked like an elementary school, came into view. I was sitting on a little plastic chair in front of the stationery store nearby, eating a 500-won ice pop.
‘Mister… are you sad about being alone, like me?’
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