Transmigrated as the Side Top used as an Emotional Trash Can - Chapter 3.2
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“…Haa.”
The balcony on a winter morning.
I listlessly glared at my breath as it dispersed into white mist and thought about the Affection Level, which had remained stubbornly fixed at 18 percent for an entire year.
“We’ll be starting high school soon….”
It was currently winter vacation during our third year of middle school.
We would soon enter high school and meet that guy, the main top. The story didn’t begin in earnest until they became adults, but their first meeting took place during high school. This was where Kim Jihwan’s miserable life began.
“The main top in this story was seriously obsessive….”
I recalled the harrowing plotlines that awaited Kim Jihwan.
“I really want to give up on everything….”
Affection Level 17%
“What?!”
The moment I said I wanted to give up, the Affection Level suddenly decreased. The unexpected drop made me dizzy, and cold sweat broke out across my body. I suddenly felt so anxious that I thought I might lose my mind. It felt as though my throat was tightening.
“Why, why…? Ngh, haa….”
I needed something to clear my head. My mind was so unstable that I couldn’t even breathe properly. It seemed like I was having a very mild panic attack. I couldn’t believe a drop of only 1 percent had affected me this badly. It was just a stupid number….
“Should I… try… saving some money…?”
As it happened, Kim Jihwan’s family had gone on a family vacation to Boracay for winter break. For the three weeks Kim Jihwan was away, I didn’t need to keep him within my range of movement, and I didn’t have to consider him in everything I did.
“The number didn’t drop that much just because we were apart….”
We had been physically separated for about five days, but there hadn’t been any significant change in the number. At this rate, there was no way it would be cut in half from 18 percent to 9 percent in only three weeks. As long as I kept my mental state under control, it shouldn’t drop again. After all, the Affection Level directly reflected my psychological state.
“Still, I’m nervous….”
Click.
I took a selfie and sent it to Kim Jihwan. I even added messages saying I was bored and asking what he was doing. A short while later, I saw Kim Jihwan’s brief reply telling me to ‘fuck off,’ and I stupidly chuckled to myself. Only then did I feel as though I could breathe again and my mind had finally settled.
“I don’t know whether this will help maintain the Affection Level, but it must be better than doing nothing.”
I messaged Kim Jihwan whenever I had the chance while he was traveling abroad, and every night, we had tearful video calls. I was putting in even more effort than when we were physically together, but this was the first freedom I had experienced from Kim Jihwan after spending nearly fifteen years attached to him.
“Coup*ng, outbound calls, delivery….”
I browsed a part-time job website to clear my head. While I was doing so, Baek Hanrim’s mother, who had come home for the first time in a while, called to me from inside the house.
“Hanrim-ah, come inside- It’s time to eat-.”
“Okay-.”
I opened the balcony door, went inside, and bowed politely to my parents. My mother, Kim Jaehwa, was a television producer, and my father, Baek Junseop, was an airline captain. They were busy parents who were rarely home. But whenever I saw them, it was clear that they were making an effort to care for me affectionately, so I couldn’t think badly of them. On top of that, they wouldn’t notice even if I secretly got a part-time job, which made them the perfect parents for me.
“You’ll be entering high school soon. Is there anything you want?”
“I’m fine. You already give me plenty of allowance.”
Right, I didn’t need money. What I needed was physical labor that could drive these thoughts from my head. I felt a little guilty toward my parents, who were offering to give me more allowance, but I turned on my phone beneath the dining table and continued browsing the part-time job website.
Wouldn’t an easy delivery job be the best option? More than anything, moving quickly had become ingrained in my body during the zombie outbreaks, so I could guarantee bullet-like speed….
Clack.
I set my spoon down on the table.
“Hanrim-ah, why aren’t you eating any more?”
My parents looked puzzled by my behavior, but all I could do was smile.
“Haha, I don’t think I can eat any more.”
Remembering that time made me so nauseated that I couldn’t chew and swallow another bite.
I felt needlessly guilty, wondering whether I had suddenly given my parents something to worry about. I gave them a faint smile and added the lie that I had secretly cooked and eaten some instant noodles the night before.
Since this body naturally ate a great deal, and was a pig according to Kim Jihwan, they let me go without any particular suspicion.
“Oh, are you the kid they said was coming this time?”
Through some rather delinquent friends, I easily found a delivery job. The delivery agency was located in the basement of an old building in a secluded part of the city.
When I entered the office, I bowed to the middle-aged man everyone called the manager.
“Yes, sir. I look forward to working with you!”
“Yeah, sure. This handheld dispatch terminal here is already set up. It isn’t registered under your name, so even if you cause trouble, don’t get caught by the police.”
After receiving a brief explanation, I signed a contract.
He didn’t ask whether I had a license, nor did he request a consent form from my parents. The contract wasn’t a proper legally binding document either. It was more like a crudely written pledge.
“Take any of the 100cc scooters parked on the first floor that still has its key in it. Or you can ride your own motorcycle instead, if you have one.”
The manager lent me an old motorcycle with its license plate obscured by mud.
I emptied my mind, accepted delivery calls through the dispatch terminal, and raced all over the city. Since I held the position of a side top in my own right, I had an excellent physique despite being a middle school student. As long as I wore a motorcycle helmet that concealed my face, I didn’t look like a minor.
“It would be a waste to spend my whole life alone with a body like this.”
In truth, older people made passes at me fairly often. But even when I dated someone, they would soon leave because I was too busy clinging to Kim Jihwan.
I didn’t have any particular regrets about romance, but thinking about a future in which I would remain single made me feel a little lonely.
Choosing something for yourself and having it forced upon you by someone else were different.
“I wonder if I can return to my original world….”
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