Transmigrated as the Side Top used as an Emotional Trash Can - Chapter 75.1
“Baek Hanrim, finals are next week.”
I was deeply focused on the game when my headset was pulled off. I looked up and saw Kim Jihwan.
“You want to completely fuck up your life?”
Kim Jihwan, who had yanked off my headset, snapped sharply at me. Then he hung the headset on its hook and outright shut down the computer I had been using.
“Woooow, no, my friend, your whole life over finals is a little….”
“Daaamn, Kim Jihwan’s going straight for the kill-.”
The Swimming Club guys beside me responded only with words, not even taking their eyes off their screens.
“Hurry up and crawl out of here. Fuck, it stinks.”
Kim Jihwan said only what he had come to say without even glancing at the Swimming Club guys.
Today was one of the rare days when both of Baek Hanrim’s parents were home. We had plans to grill meat together with Kim Jihwan’s family, so he had come looking for me after finishing at the academy.
“Guys, I’m heading out first. See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, later. See ya.”
“Byee-.”
I obediently got up and followed Kim Jihwan, who had gone out ahead of me. We quickly left the basement PC bang and walked down the street.
“Jihwan-ah, wait for me.”
He kept walking straight ahead without looking back.
The round back of his head had become familiar after seeing it so often. If you walk fast, then I just have to match your pace.
“…Baek Hanrim.”
Once I caught up and walked beside him, he called my name.
“Can’t you study a little harder?”
Then he buried his face in his muffler and muttered. I couldn’t figure out where this was coming from, so I answered lightly like usual.
“I thought I studied pretty hard?”
“No, ha….”
Apparently dissatisfied with my answer, he carefully searched for the right words. Then he abruptly spat them out.
“I want to see you… trying harder, a little….”
Even after saying it, Kim Jihwan struggled for quite a while.
“…Never mind. Forget it.”
Then he took it back. I was curious about what he had been trying to say.
“You want to see me trying hard?”
Before he could change his mind, I quickly picked up the words Kim Jihwan had let slip.
“…Yeah.”
“Why?”
He squeezed his eyes shut once, then said.
“I started studying because I wanted to beat you.”
A huge truck whooshed past on the road. The noise and wind left behind by its massive frame were surprisingly sharp.
“But how have I not beaten you once all through first year?”
“Uh… we haven’t taken the finals yet.”
Kim Jihwan glared at me without even fixing the bangs the truck’s wind had blown into disarray.
“You’re gonna fucking take the finals too! While swimming, while gaming! You’re gonna beat everyone at everything!”
All I had done was work tirelessly to maintain the character of the perfect overachiever who excelled at everything. I never expected my efforts to affect him like this. I felt wronged and deflated, but also sorry.
“Jihwan-ah, have you not been sleeping?”
I brought up Kim Jihwan’s complexion for no real reason and changed the subject. He really did look pale, and his exhaustion showed.
It seemed like the guy who had been obsessing over studying to an excessive degree had finally cracked under the pressure of moving up a grade and finals. On top of that, he hadn’t originally been the type to study, so he must have felt impatient.
“…Ha! That’s it? You’re asking if I haven’t been sleeping?”
Smack!
He harshly slapped away my hand when I tried to touch the area beneath his eyes. The motion was sharp.
“Don’t touch me, don’t worry about me, and don’t talk to me like that!”
Cars sped past one after another on the road, whoosh- whoosh-. The damp smell of winter asphalt brushed past us.
“Yeah, sleep? Right, I haven’t slept. Has it been more than two weeks? Feels like I’m fucking dying.”
“Jihwan-ah, stop. You’re worked up right now.”
“Fuck! Yeah! I’m worked up! I’m fucking pissed! But you know what pisses me off the most?”
It didn’t sound like a question he expected me to answer. It was a monologue of emotions he could no longer contain, bursting out of him.
“You don’t sleep either! You don’t sleep more than four hours either!”
I was at a loss for words.
Should I answer? Deny it? Laugh it off?
“My brain doesn’t work and I have no appetite. Nothing goes into my head, and my body feels like fucking dead weight, so how are you like that?”
Kim Jihwan was too worked up. He got irritated often enough, but I hadn’t seen him this agitated and furious very many times. What was I supposed to do at a time like this?
Ah, right. I should smile.
If I laughed it off, things would probably smooth over. You’re just tired right now, let’s go eat meat. I could say that, right? Like always….
“How… How do you smile like that every single time?”
I raised a hand and touched my face. I had thought about smiling, but my body had already smiled first. I guess I really had been in this body for a long time. It reacted without even passing through conscious thought anymore.
“No, I mean- there’s even a saying that you can’t spit in a smiling face-.”
I hugged Kim Jihwan, who was trembling all over with anger, and patted him. He resisted as if trying to reject my touch.
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