Becoming the Terminally-Ill Villain Who Torments His Disciples - Chapter 44.2
In the depths of those tender gestures, Cielo felt his chest tighten—not from pain, but from the overwhelming affection directed at him.
“…Even saying I’m sorry to you feels like a sin.”
A man who had waited endlessly for such a long time.
And what had Cielo done in return? Let him witness the aftermath of sharing a bed with another man. Worse, he hadn’t even sought Ryan out to explain—hadn’t uttered a single word until Ryan himself broke the silence.
Disgusting.
He was so disgusted with his own behavior he could hardly stand it.
Was it because he had finally received the kind of love he never got when he was still ‘Lee Eunwoo’? Both Ryan’s love and Oscar’s affection were hard to reject.
So he selfishly wanted them both, acted vaguely, and wavered.
Even as he held a deep-rooted fear that they might leave, he clung to them with small gestures, just enough to keep them nearby.
“I’m sorry. If I wasn’t going to give you a proper answer, I should’ve let you go sooner…”
As Cielo’s face twisted as if he might cry, Ryan gently stroked the corners of his eyes and spoke.
“I just want you to be happy.”
“…”
“Like how you vaguely wish for Oscar’s happiness. No, maybe even more than that.”
Murmuring as if to himself, Ryan pulled Cielo closer and slowly patted his back. His hand, full of affection and comfort, seemed to say it was okay to let go of all his worries and doubts for now.
“I know what you’re worried about. Oscar’s behavior is hard to reject, and your body’s worsening condition must only be making everything feel heavier.”
Cielo’s eyes widened in surprise.
But Ryan didn’t stop.
“Even so, I still want you, Cielo. So don’t let go. Don’t push me away. No—even if you do, I won’t leave.”
No words could answer that.
Even if he had only been leaving things vague, offering nothing clear, Ryan was telling him that it was all okay.
“How could you treat me so well… when I’m this selfish, irresponsible, and don’t even consider your feelings?”
“Hmm, maybe that’s why I like you. They say a bit of coldness makes someone more attractive.”
“…Idiot.”
“Yeah, I’m an idiot. What can I do? I only know how to care about you.”
Cielo slowly looked up at Ryan, who let out a soft laugh.
When he saw Cielo’s reddened eyes—on the verge of tears—Ryan smiled and kissed the tip of his nose.
“Be greedy, Cielo.”
“…”
“If you want me, have me. If Oscar still lingers in your thoughts, have him too.”
“What?”
“It’s fine.”
Ryan smiled, as if saying it was okay as long as Cielo stayed by his side.
“B-But how could you…!”
Cielo looked shocked, even horrified, but Ryan seemed completely sincere, kissing all over his face.
“But in return, I’m done with just waiting.”
“Ah…”
“If I want to kiss you when I see you, I will. If I want to say I love you, I will. Is that okay?”
Ryan looked at him with hopeful, glimmering eyes. As if saying—he would give everything else up, just let him express his feelings freely.
It was the first time he’d ever asked for just one thing—while handing Cielo all the reins and control.
There was no way Cielo could reject something like that.
Swallowing hard, he opened and closed his mouth several times before finally managing to speak.
“…Okay.”
The moment he gave his answer, Ryan leaned in.
It was a kiss unbearably warm—almost painfully so.
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