Guiding the Male Lead out of His Trauma - Chapter 17.2
While I was lost in thought, Cassiel managed to calm his anger a little and apologized once more.
“…I’m sorry. I know that just saying this one thing won’t erase all the things I said.”
“It’s fine. I tend to forget things I don’t want to hear before long anyway.”
With his spirit broken, it almost seemed like Cassiel had been using all those harsh words to hide this side of himself. He even looked a little pitiable.
Not that it made me want to get closer to him. If his goal had been to draw out a sense of kinship from me, he’d half-succeeded. After all, even though those thorns were of his own making, if he was hurting himself by wielding them, it’s hard to criticize.
“Well, it’s something that you even managed to apologize.”
“That’s right. I don’t apologize to just anyone, you know.”
“That just makes you trash.”
“……”
Suddenly, I remembered all those keywords attached to Cassiel. Regretful male lead, trash male lead, scumbag second male lead, and so on.
Still, since he’d finally started showing a bit of vulnerability, I didn’t say anything more. Instead, I decided to say something else.
It wasn’t like me, but it was a good moment to take advantage of his softened attitude, or maybe even get him to cooperate for a shared goal.
“For as long as the law doesn’t change, there’s no way for us to avoid that path, is there?”
“…That’s right.”
On Cassiel’s face, I could read the resignation that had been there a long time. It’s easy to blame the Guide who was at the side of the family you loved when they died.
But doing so changes nothing. And since he’d have to return to the academy eventually, he couldn’t just keep turning away from Guides forever.
In other words, there’s someone else Cassiel should really be angry at.
“Still, it seems like you’ve finally found the right target for your anger. Congratulations.”
“What?”
I continued, deliberately keeping my tone unsympathetic.
“So what’s the real problem here? The Mana Stone War? Well, it’d be good if the war ended soon. Guides? What crime have Guides committed? They died right along with the Transcendents.”
At a loss for words, Cassiel just fell silent.
“The important thing is this. Who are the ones who keep pushing kids barely old enough to be called adults onto the battlefield just because they were high-ranking Transcendents?”
“You…”
Cassiel, lost for words, suddenly stiffened and lowered his voice.
“Don’t say dangerous things like that. Are you out of your mind?”
“I’m perfectly sane. It’s this country that isn’t.”
He stood there, mouth open, unable to say anything in return. I addressed him coolly.
“If Hyacine awakens in six months and they try to send him straight to the front just because he’s S-Class, I’ll take my sibling and run from this country.”
“You… You’re not really crazy, are you?”
“I’m not. I just won’t let that child go through the same thing as your family.”
I meant it. My eyes were resolute, and Cassiel slowly froze in place.
Even as a cadet, running to another country would be treated as desertion the moment you left. But if it meant my little brother had to live in this cramped country, treated as nothing but a weapon for the rest of his life, I’d run—gladly.
‘I’ll run, no matter what.’
The only reason I hadn’t done it yet was because I still held out some hope that things could be changed.
“You should think carefully, too. About what we should do, about whether we really have to follow the path set out for us just because it’s there.”
If someone tries to harm me or my brother, there’s no way I’d just go along with it.
I’d rather take a path that isn’t a path at all.
And when the layers of extreme sensitivity and irritability fell away from Cassiel’s face, I noticed something that felt familiar.
Seeing him acknowledge that I’d been the wrong target for his anger and apologize, I was certain.
“So what about you? What will you do?”
Cassiel didn’t answer until we arrived back at the mansion. I didn’t press any further.
* * *
Several days passed. Then about another week went by.
“You’re going back in half a year, aren’t you?”
Cassiel came to me while I was sitting in the garden. Judging by the chill in the air, the new semester would be starting in a few months.
“I have to go.”
“What are you going to do once you’re there?”
“And why should I tell you that?”
Cassiel, his face no longer tense or irritable, but rather at ease, answered me then.
“I’m going back, too. I figure once I get there, I’ll know what I need to do.”
Then, out of nowhere, he made a statement that was easy to misunderstand.
“And for that, I think I’ll need you.”
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