Idol of the Heavenly One - vanish into fiction

This week’s music show first place is—!

Maybe because we’re from a big agency, we’ve only taken first place three times on music shows since our debut. But it wasn’t just because we were from a big agency. Each time we came back, there weren’t many strong contenders, so we ended up taking first place by default. Some might call that a spoiled comment, but I think because I debuted so early, hardly experiencing trainee life, I never felt that deep, desperate need. Of course, the other members were different. Baek Jae-heon had already won first place around thirty times if you count all his past lives, so he was calm, but the rest of the members were experiencing it for the first time, crying and freaking out. Especially JUIRIP—seeing him cry was honestly fascinating. It probably had to do with his long trainee days.

Anyway, I used to just smile and wait whenever the first-place announcement was made, but this time, I truly understood what it meant to feel desperate. Not only were the candidates incredibly strong, but it was also a full-length album, and thinking about the hard practice after injuries made the feeling even more intense. So when our name was up as a nominee, I focused only on the fans I could see directly in front of me, with an extremely tense expression.

“YEARZ, EXIT!”

When our name was called, my legs gave out and I collapsed. The fans gasped in surprise, and Baek Jae-heon immediately supported me.

“Are you okay?”

“My legs won’t hold me…”

“Want me to carry you?”

“No…”

It might sound unbelievable, but my legs really had no strength. Even though it wasn’t my first time winning first place, I was so nervous that my legs were shaking. Baek Jae-heon squatted down next to me, pretending he would actually carry me if needed.

“First, our MINITs, you made this award possible today. Thank you so much. Honestly, preparing this album was tough. I wanted to do well, so my body and mind were exhausted… and honestly, we fought a little too. But I think we got here because all the members never gave up and always supported each other. All our members worked so hard, I love you, and I’m so grateful. From now on, YEARZ will be a team that makes you proud. Thank you so much!”

JUIRIP finished his speech and looked to pass the microphone, but when he saw Baek Jae-heon and me still squatting, he immediately understood the situation and smiled. Then he sat down next to me.

“Cheonmyeong, you worked the hardest. Say a few words.”

He put the microphone right in front of me. The other members smiled and sat around us. Usually, everyone would stand and greet the other idols as they left, but today, it seemed they all decided to focus on me. I held my own microphone while also holding JUIRIP’s. I could feel my hands trembling. I could hear the members teasing me, but nothing else mattered in that moment.

“Um…”

My voice trembled as I spoke. I could hear the fans gasp in sympathy.

“The truth is… I debuted early, and there are members who have worked harder and been more desperate than me. So whenever I won first place, I felt more congratulatory than emotional. But this time, while preparing for the comeback, I really felt desperation. Not that I desperately wanted first place, but during the last activity, I couldn’t participate. I was watching the members from the audience, looking up at them with the fans, and I felt such a strong sense of regret. I realized how amazing we are. How much we give strength to our fans. I wanted to get back on stage with the members as soon as possible. I wanted to practice more, work harder, and give even more strength to the fans. With that mindset, things I used to think were easy suddenly felt so difficult. I kept thinking, ‘Can I really do this?’ and wondering if the fans would like it. That’s when I truly learned what desperation feels like. Thank you so much to the fans, and thank you and I love you, members.”