Idol of the Heavenly One - Chapter 49.1
“Hey, Baek… Baek Jae-heon…!”
If I went any farther in, I would be out of the fans’ sight. I remembered the manager’s warning to avoid that and tried to stop walking, but there was no way I could overpower Baek Jae-heon, who had just finished four different sports events.
[YEARZ Waiting Room]
When the manager sitting outside our waiting room asked in surprise what was going on, Baek Jae-heon didn’t even respond. He simply dragged me inside, told the manager curtly, “Wait outside, I have something to say to him,” slammed the door shut, and locked it.
“Do you not know who that person is?”
He immediately turned to me and demanded an answer.
“Who…? The coach?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“…Was I supposed to?”
What was this? Was he some kind of important person? Maybe someone who sponsored this whole program, or someone I absolutely needed to know? My mind started racing with possibilities, and I asked carefully,
“That person, he’s dating Song Eun-gyu. You really didn’t know?”
“…Huh? Song… Song Eun-gyu? But that senior is a guy.”
The answer that came back was shocking. That man was Song Eun-gyu’s lover. What startled me even more was how casually Baek Jae-heon said it, as if it was something I should obviously have known. Was it that common now for a man to date another man so openly? Has Korea changed that much?
“You really didn’t know?”
“Of course not, how would I know that… I only saw Song Eun-gyu for the first time today.”
“…Ha.”
Baek Jae-heon let out a sigh that sounded full of frustration, then looked me up and down. In that moment, guilt washed over me as if I had done something terribly wrong. But really, was it such a crime not to know about a gamer and an idol couple? Or not realizing two men were together? The unfairness of it began to sting.
“Anyway, now that you know, stay away from him.”
“……”
The mood dropped instantly. Did that mean I should stay away because the guy was gay? Because he might get the wrong idea about me too?
“Why aren’t you answering?”
“…Because I don’t want to.”
“What?”
Something rebellious stirred inside my chest. Why did he sound so sure of himself? What if someone close to him—a family member, a friend, or even a member of his group—turned out to be gay? Would he still say to keep away from them? My throat tightened as heat surged up inside me.
“…What’s wrong with being gay?”
The words came out lower and firmer than I expected. My voice was calm, almost too calm, but inside I was in chaos.
I had never once thought of myself as gay. My entire life, I believed it was only natural for men to be attracted to women. But from the moment I began to like Baek Jae-heon, all that certainty shattered. No—maybe it didn’t shatter, maybe it cracked and kept shaking, tormenting me every night. Was I always like this? Or was it just because he was special? I couldn’t find the answer, and I spent night after night lying awake, trying to make sense of it.
And now, the very person who threw me into that confusion was standing in front of me, casually saying things like “stay away from him.” I could barely breathe. Something from deep inside rose to the surface—a rush of emotions I couldn’t name. Whether it was resentment, anger, or pain, it filled my chest and burned my throat.
‘Who are you to do this to me? To throw me into this turmoil, and then say something like that so easily?’
A scream I couldn’t voice circled in my chest. Crying might have helped, but no tears would come. All I could do was look straight at Baek Jae-heon. Every word that came out of his mouth felt like it was denying me—denying not just who I was, but also the fact that I liked him.
“What did you just say?”
“……”
The air in the waiting room froze.
Baek Jae-heon’s eyes sharpened, cutting right through me. Silence fell between us. He furrowed his brows slightly, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard, and spoke slowly.
“What do you mean by that?”
“……”
“I asked what you meant.”
I was scared.
Scared of the way Baek Jae-heon was cornering me.
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